Twelve Flower-Crowns
by thinkinginatardis
Summary: A book of Doctor Who one-shots focused around Whouffaldi- I'd happily take requests of some kind too! Age Ratings will be mixed, but there may be some mature content. Just check the self-inserted Rating at the top of the chapter!


_Prompt: " If I could have escaped from your love, I would have."_

 _Rating: K+_

 _Warnings: N/A_

"Clara, I'm not your boyfriend."

He said it so quickly; it was so out of the blue. The subject of romance when it came to The Doctor was like treading on thin ice already, considering how much confusion the man made her feel. She had fallen in love with him before, and she wouldn't deny it. When he had been younger physically; a little naïve but of course, that was one of the things she had adored about him. He had been a fresh pain in her side, and a geek that she could allow herself to be infatuated over- oh, she hoped it was more than just a mere infatuation that had lead her to love The Doctor in his last form… but the fact she couldn't bring herself to love this one gave her the impression it might have just been a crush; a fancy to keep her adrenaline pumping.

But this wasn't about him earlier. It was about him now. She focused all her attention on the Doctor directly in front of her, taking in all of the pain hidden in his eyes, the animosity that spurted out on occasions- and the graveness of his expression as he focused on her just as well as she did on him. He seemed so very serious about this statement, and she knew exactly why. She felt more than guilt at that moment… she felt a pit of unease that built up further and further within her as she let the tension rise between them. But it _wasn't_ her fault! She had made him fall in love with her just a little, but she had moved on when he had changed, and she couldn't magically mend his emotions over the matter.

She was entirely astonished, thus, that he could think she would see him in that light. It had only been one time she had expressively portrayed him as anything more than a friend, and they both knew that was just for a dinner party…

Didn't they?

She had been softly frowning at him too long now. Blinking rapidly, she came back to the present, and gave her quiet response, "I never said you were." She murmured, turning her focus away to her hands, about to ponder on the matter further, when he spoke up very suddenly after that and completely changed her view on the intentions of his first statement.

"I never said that it was your mistake." He mumbled in response. She quickly stared back up at him, astonished at the statement. They caught eye contact for a brief moment, but her expressive gaze was like wildfire for The Doctor- he quickly pulled himself from her gaze, and turned on his heels, starting his composition. What had he hoped would happen? He didn't know. He knew what he wanted to happen- and he knew what he wanted. But both of those were impossible, and it was not very often that he thought things as impossible.

But she was not letting the matter slip so lightly.

"No, no you can't just say something like that and throw it aside." She loudly declared, standing up abruptly and half-storming her way over to him. This time she _was_ vexed, she _was_ angry, because he had just triggered so many feelings and regrets in her, left the doors open to her soul and decided to walk away and let the cold in. He turned around slowly, facing her; staring down at her feet, but not making any attempt at a response.

"That… _stunt,_ you just pulled there? There has to be more to it- why? Why bring… that, this thing up? What did you want from it?" 

"I don't know." Was all he could utter as a reply then.

"Why?"

"I… don't know."

"Nor do I. Because you… changing has confused me, Doctor. I don't know- I actually liked you a little before. I said it. I never thought we were going out, and if you thought we were then- then that's your mistake." She declared, but for some reason, however angry she felt at this sudden stirring of emotions, her voice broke in the middle of the sentence, and she felt a hitch of breath in her throat. She forced herself to continue, quieter this time, "And if it's your mistake, you can't throw those feelings at me. Because you don't know how much pain it-"

" _You don't know half of the pain I have felt, and that I feel Clara Oswald!_ " He shouted, a mad outburst, his eyes now raised and glaring with rage into her. The Doctor's accusing gaze was intimidating, and it felt like a stabbing pain in her side. All she could do was part her lips slightly- no words leaving, just shaken breaths. She had been left speechless, and _frightened_ by The Doctor in that instance.

He raised a hand up, but let it fall back down again, hanging his head before turning away from her and tightening his grip on the icy railings of the TARDIS beside him, simply expression desolate loss.

"I'm sorry that I had to say that Clara; but you don't understand how much I…

how much I loved you. How much I love you. And oh, dear god- I wish I could let go of that more than ever, because it hurts more than ice, and fire, and storms of clashing blades coming down on bare skin."

"But why don't you?" She blurted, feeling the return of her guilt. He was the last time-lord in the universe. He had feelings, experiences and emotions more complex than any other organism in the cosmos, and to gain the affections of a man as incredible as him was completely undeserved- and yet she couldn't love him back. Not now.

"If I could have escaped your love, I would have.

But I can't.

Because love, Clara, is the worst kind of prison."

She couldn't stand seeing him this depressed much longer. Two short hops and a shift to the side, and she was facing his side as he stared at the wall opposite. Thrusting her arms around him, she tilted her head so it faced the same direction as his. He tensed, at first, uncomfy with the hug. But relaxed into it inevitably. They remained like this in silence for a while, before Clara finally spoke up, "I'm not used to you yet… Its just hard for me to think you're someone else, even though you aren't. And I don't know if I'll ever love you. But if you give it enough time, maybe I'll feel the same way…"

"And Doctor?" 

"Mhm?"

"We do need more of the circle things."

 _Sorry there isn't much action in this one, it's more just confronting some less portrayed feelings, and how the one thing could have done. Plus this prompt was irresistible. There will be more action-y ones. And maybe, like ONE smut. But I-I APPARENTLY I'm okay at writing them but they hurt me to write and it will only be by request OR if I get dared so, don't get your hopes up for a voluntarily one of those._


End file.
